Birds in their Nests
Chapter 2
Kousuda left the next day, and not with a little hesitation. He said he couldn’t be sure how long he would be gone, but he would definitely back by winter in time for the Imperial Court.
“And to see the little one,” he promised.
His absence was felt not just by his wife Kyoumi but also by Yamada. Kyoumi’s ambivalence was harder to avoid. Towards her new role with the Voice of the Emperor, her role as hostess, and even probably Yamada’s pregnancy. It’s like they walked in circles, like an unbroken horse shy of the one who would one day trust them.
And it was more than a little frustrating.
So, rather than mirror Kyoumi’s intricate dance, Yamada tried to keep herself occupied. While she didn’t have any official duties for the Unicorn Clan while she stayed in the city, she did want to keep informed on what was happening. Particularly with the decisions she had been involved in making.
There was also a little sadness, because she wasn’t part of these plans, only observing. And that at a distance. Six months ago when she had arrived at Shiro Mirumoto, she had always assumed she would be leaving the mountain to ride to take back the Unicorn lands with the clan. To return home, just as they all had wanted. Not sitting in a house in the middle of a city, newly widowed and six months with child.
There were letters she wanted to write too. Particularly to Nakura’s family, trapped behind Onyx lines in the south. To introduce herself, but also explain what had happened and the reason for her decisions about her and Nakura’s child.
She gave a sad smile, trying to attempt the letter for the third time in as many days. She had wanted to meet them. His parents, his brother and sister. They had made plans, dreams spoken of in the small, brief world they had shared together.
Perhaps, Yamada thought, our child will know them someday…
The door opened and she could hear Kyoumi arrive home. She put down her brush and packed away her writing things. The letter could wait another day, and perhaps when she could be sure it would get to them.
They had fallen into a routine in the last few days since Yamada had been staying. Usually Kyoumi was in the Forbidden City in the mornings with the Voice. In this time, Yamada would go over her correspondence, read or sit in the garden. After Kyoumi returned, they would have the midday meal and then Kyoumi would show Yamada some of the city. They would return for the evening meal, and then Kyoumi would work late into the evening.
That afternoon, at Yamada’s suggestion, they went to the Temple to the Seven Fortunes. It was but a short walk from Kyoumi’s house on the far side of the Chisei District.
Rather than one temple, it was a series of large shrines to each of the fortunes. Like much of Otosan Uchi, they showed signs of recent repair. So had the school in the centre of the temples which Kyoumi said they were trying to open as soon as possible for the children of the district.
There were quite a number at the shrines, talking to the monks, nuns and shugenja who tended them. But the most people by far were around the Shrine to Benten. Most of them women. For one of Benten’s vassals was Hujojuko, the Fortune of Fertility.
Yamada and Kyoumi joined the queue for the shrine. It was rather long but moved quickly. As they neared the entrance to the shrine, Yamada could see inside. A shugenja seemed to be saying prayers to the expectant mother while a nun of
Hujojuko handed them what looked to be a strip of cloth.
They were almost inside when Yamada caught the eye of one of the women coming out. She clearly did not want to be there or be seen there. But the surprise of seeing her at all made Yamada blurt out her name.
“Yukari!”
Yukari’s head whipped around at the sound of her name. But she first looked behind her, back inside the shrine, then at Yamada.
“Yamada, Kyoumi,” said Yukari, nodding to them in greeting.
“It’s a…surprise to see you, here,” said Yamada, a little awkwardly.
“Yes,” said Yukari shortly. “For me as well.” She looked over her shoulder again.
“You must come and visit,” said Kyoumi warmly. “Tell us about your trip to Zogeku.”
“Yes, of course,” said Yukari. She sounded genuine, but clearly not inclined to chat. “I’ll have a note sent ahead, perhaps tomorrow…”
“Yu-ka-riii!” A high, sing-song voice pierced the air. All eyes turned towards its owner, a tall woman wearing the black and white of the Spider Clan. All eyes except Yukari’s who hid hers in clear irritation.
The woman made way over; she had an almost regal bearing that was not hindered by the swelling of her belly. And despite the difference of a few years in age, there was clearly a superficial similarity between the two women.
“Imoto-san, you escape me again!” she scolded. “There are people you need to meet!” She turned to regard Yamada and Kyoumi. “And aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”
Yukari looked as if she would rather be anywhere else doing anything else, but she compiled.
“Momoko-chan, this is Kakita Kyoumi and Utaku Yamada; we met at court at Shiro Mirumoto last winter,” she said, sullenly as if she were reciting lines. “Kyoumi-san, Yamada-san, this is my older sister Daigotsu Momoka.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Daigotsu Momoko-san,” said Kyoumi sweetly. "You must be very proud of your sister; she has managed to help so many people with her skills in diplomacy.”
“Proud, perhaps,” said Momoko. “Surprised, yes. She knows full well what will make the family proud.”
Yamada noticed that Yukari didn’t speak, but she clearly wanted to. Fortunately, they were almost inside the shrine just then.
“Will you excuse us?” said Yamada. “It is our turn.”
“Of course,” said Momoko with a winning smile. “We will wait for you.”
Yamada and Kyoumi headed inside, bowing to the shugenja and monk. The Benten shugenja said the requisite prayers for a safe birth and delivery. The nun pressed the strip of cloth into Yamada’s hands. An obi, red in colour and wider than usual.
“Remember to wear it to keep your baby warm,” said the nun, saying blessings before they thanked them walked away.
When they came back to where Momoko and Yukari were, the tension between the two sisters had clearly increased. Yukari looking down rather sullenly, Momoko with her wide false smile.
“I wish many blessings on you for you and your child, Utaku-san,” she said. “Bringing children into the world is one of the best ways we can serve as samurai.”
“Thank you, Daigotsu-san,” said Yamada. She thought she heard a derisive snort from Yukari.
“Tell me, is the midwife attending you any good?” Momoko asked. “Such things are vital, and I ask as the sanba that has attended all of our family is highly skilled as well as knowledgeable.”
Yamada was caught a little off guard by this. “Uh…I don’t think so…”
“Splendid!” said Momoko. “I shall make sure that she calls on you this very evening!”
“Thank you,” said Yamada, feeling a little awkward.
Yukari stood sullenly behind her sister, not wanting to say anything and clearly wanting to be on her way.
“I would like to stay, Daigotsu-san, but I think the walk and the heat of the sun are a little trying,” said Yamada.
“May we call upon you tomorrow?” asked Kyoumi.
“Of course, of course!” gushed Momoko. “I remember my first, I bid you farewell then.”
“Do we have to go and see her?” Yamada asked as they walked away.
Kyoumi nodded. “At least once, perhaps Yukari would like someone else to talk to.”
“Hopefully, we can always laugh about it later,” said Yamada.
The midwife arrived that evening as promised. She was a short woman, solidly built and probably of mid to late forties. She wore a simple brown cotton kimono with her greying black hair pulled back in a no-nonsense bun. Her name was Kokoro, but she insisted Yamada call her Oba, Auntie.
Accompanying her was her young apprentice. A girl hardly past fifteen called Nibui. She carried the midwife’s tools in a large bag and did not speak much. But this was hardly noticeable was Kokoro talked far too much.
Yamada was not quite sure what to make of her at first. By her caste, a midwife was an eta, these people—or rather non-people—dealt with necessary but undesirable things. But like a geisha, also an eta, they seemed to inhabit a peculiar place of trust when they were plying their trade. A geisha had her okiya; a midwife the birthing room.
Much later, when it was drawing nearer to Yamada’s time and she felt comfortable talking more freely to Kokoro, she shared her thoughts of this. But the midwife only smiled.
“You are not the first to ask that my dear,” she said. “Every mother is a mother and every baby is a baby, and every baby is born the same way from the Imperial Palace down to the huts in the eta village.”
But that day, there was a little bit more formality. At least at first. They went to Yamada’s room and Nibui was sent to make tea. While she served it, Kokoro asked Yamada some questions. Firstly, about Yamada’s general health and then about her monthly courses and when they had stopped. She then she calculated from a metal circular calendar Nibui removed from her bag.
“If we are right about this, my dear, this puts the little one’s arrival in the month of the Rooster, early autumn,” she said, more to herself than to Yamada. Nibui noted all of this down in a little book. “That is not much time, since this month, the month of the Goat, is almost over.” She turned to Yamada, shaking her finger at her in a mock scolding way. “You should have come to see me earlier, young woman!”
Yamada laughed, Kokoro was starting to grow on her.
“Now, I need to ask about your mother, my dear,” said Kokoro. “Did she have children other than you?”
“Yes…oba,” said Yamada. “Four of us altogether. All girls, I was the youngest.”
“And am I right in guessing your mother is not in the city?” Kokoro asked gently.
“No,” said Yamada quietly. “She died when I was a child, along with the rest of my family.”
“You poor dear,” said Kokoro gently. “You do need women around you for the birth, remember. Ones you can trust.”
“I think I can manage that,” said Yamada. Kyoumi of course would be there, but she secretly wondered if the Crane girl was up to such a task.
“Now come,” said the midwife, patting the futon after Nibui had unrolled it. “Let us see how the little one is doing.”
With Nibui’s help, Yamada removed her obi and kimono until she was down to her undergarments. Nibui then helped her lie down on her back. Kokoro trained hands then ran over Yamada’s belly, feeling through to where the growing baby was inside. She applied a little pressure, and Yamada felt the baby move.
“A little fighter, this one,” said Kokoro with a throaty laugh. “Yes, there is the head, give me your hand, dear.” Kokoro guided Yamada’s had to just underneath her ribcage. She felt something solid there, round, moving beneath her hand. “Still standing up the little one is, but there’s time and room for him to move.”
Yamada felt something hard press outward against the walls of her belly. A hand? A foot? It was hard to tell.
“Let’s leave the little one now,” said Kokoro, letting Yamada sit up and put her kimono back on. “You are carrying fairly low, which can mean a boy. “She gave Yamada a pointed look. “From what I have heard, your family, the Utaku, have rather firm opinions about that.”
“We do,” said Yamada, sipping her tea. “But…my husband died last winter. It’s…all I have left of him.”
“I know, dear,” said Kokoro, patting Yamada’s hand gently. “Babies come whenever they want to, even in the middle of a war. We make the best of things.”
Kokoro gave Yamada careful instructions, saying she was to have warm foods and to eat fish bones as it would help bring on her milk. She also left a packet of tea, which would help with this as well as other common pregnancy ailments.
Yamada and Kyoumi saw the two of them off. But she was so inclined to talk was Kokoro that she dallied in leaving. It was only when Nibui pointed out the lateness of the hour—the only time she had spoken that evening—that Kokoro realized they should be on their way.
“I shall see you in two weeks,” said Kokoro to Yamada. Then, she turned to Kyoumi. “I expect you will be needing my services soon, Kakita-sama.”
And with that, she left.
“Kyoumi?” Yamada looked at her curiously as they went inside. “What did she mean by that?”
Kyoumi looked a little embarrassed. “Well…”
“You mean, you’re…”
Kyoumi nodded.
For a moment, Yamada forgot all propriety and gave Kyoumi a warm hug.
“That’s wonderful,” Yamada said, then remembering herself and stepping back quickly. “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy for you.”
“It’s fine, I understand,” said Kyoumi.
“How long have you known?” Yamada asked. “Does Kousuda know?”
“Yes, we have known for a little while now,” she said. “And thank you for your good wishes.”
Yamada smiled, the first real smile Kyoumi had seen since she had arrived. The first one that was not tinged with sadness. And then she started to giggle like a girl.
“I’m sorry,” she said, putting her hand up to her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter. “But both of us…at the same time.”
“I know,” said Kyoumi, joining in the laughter.
On their walk to Yukari’s sister’s house, Yamada saw more of the city. It was still surprising how much recovery and rebuilding had gone on. For so long the old capital had been abandoned, resettlement was only really possible once the taint was removed from the city for good.
It’s like new growth, thought Yamada, new life after a great storm.
But the new growth was very different from the old. Gone was the quaint rusticness of the old Rokugani style, in its place were new innovations and even foreign influences. How much there was varied from district to district, there were still more traditional structures such as in the Chisei District where Kyoumi lived. But in the Sereko District where a number of prominent kuge of the Spider Clan had their homes, there was a definite emphasis on the new rather than old. And there was a definite Zogeki influence, at least that was Yamada’s best guess.
The Spider Embassy was a prime example. They passed by it so Yamada was able to see it fully. The painted wood in the black, white and scarlet of the Spider Clan. The intricately carved columns inscribed with the mons of the different families. The intricately sculptured gardens hidden partially behind screens.
There was also a rather small, modest house at the rear of the embassy. So unremarkable that Yamada would have overlooked it had Kyoumi not pointed it out. It was the official residence of Susumu Shibatsu. Champion of the Spider Clan but also brother to the Emperor. It was certainly small and unassuming, particularly since the walls to the Forbidden City where the Imperial Palace was located were only a stone’s throw away.
Literally in their shadow, Yamada thought as they passed, perhaps that says more about him than anything else would.
Momoko’s house was one of several that bordered on a large and elaborate garden. A servant received them at the door and led them through to the gardens where a large group of people had gathered. Sitting, standing, talking in groups. Dressed impeccably in court clothes of a number of different colours. Perfect make up. Decorated fans and parasols.
The sort of people that Yamada usually went out of her way to avoid.
And in the midst of it all was Momoko. At the centre of all affairs like a queen bee in charge of a hive. She introduced Kyoumi and Yamada to the various people, Kyoumi managing to find the right words with ease and Yamada with a little difficulty.
The names and faces blurred a little, but there was one who stood out to Yamada. A young woman wearing a kimono of a soft apricot colour patterned with white butterflies. Momoko introduced her as Asako Tomiko. She was a little younger than Yamada, and there was something resembling actual sincerity and candour in her voice and manner. This contrasted starkly against the false courtly graces of the others.
She was also very interested in how Yamada had recently been to Phoenix lands.
“It has been very hard to get any news of what is happening,” she said to Yamada. “I have not heard from my brothers in several months.”
“Can you tell me their names?” Yamada asked. “I did speak with a number of Phoenix while I was there, from different families.”
“Their names are Isawa Tenji and Isawa Higoshi,” she said, looking at Yamada closely.
“I am sorry, but I can’t help you,” said Yamada. “I definitely did not meet anyone of that name, but there were a number of Isawa I saw. So that does not mean I did not see them.”
“No need to apologise, Utaku-san,” said Tomiko. “I have been away from home for a number of years, living here. And it can be…hard to not know what is going on.”
“I know exactly what you mean, Asako-san,” said Yamada. “My clan is fighting to take back our lands, it is hard to hear news of what is going on. And I thought I would be there, part of it.”
“I am sure you are doing your duty well here, Utaku-san,” said Tomiko, a fleeting glance at Yamada’s belly.
Yamada smiled, perhaps there were good things about being here after all.
Later on, Yamada walked the gardens, seeking peace from the constant chatter of the courtiers. The sun was hot and she was glade for the shade of the white parasol Kyoumi had loaned her.
Like the city itself, the gardens here were a mixture of old and new. With the traditional pine, maples and bamboo, Yamada spotted frangipanis, roses and white vanilla orchids.
She crossed a small footbridge that spanned a stream and walked into a training yard. A simple paved courtyard with weapon racks on either side filled with practice weapons for anyone who wished to use one.
And it was there that Yamada saw Yukari, dressed in her court furisode decorated with spiders, practicing katas. Yamada approached, watching Yukari and admiring her form. Uncompromising in its strength and speed, no hesitations. Unlike anywhere else, it was where Yamada could see Yukari’s true self. The blade could not lie.
Then she stopped, she acknowledged Yamada with a nod. “You couldn’t stand it either?” she asked with a wry smile.
Yamada smiled back. “I was there for as long as I could,” she said. “But I have to tell you, I have an easy reason to escape.” She touched her pregnant belly.
Yukari gave an amused snort. “When you put it like that, it almost sounds tempting,” she said. “Almost.” She sheathed her sword. “I know we couldn’t talk properly yesterday. Momoko is…” She shook her head. “How have you been? Well, aside from…” She glanced at Yamada’s belly.
“Surviving, I guess,” Yamada said, taking a seat on a bench. “It’s like something else has taken control of my life and it hasn’t happened yet. So, here I am waiting until it does. Waiting, which is something I’m not very good at.”
“You’re not the only one who is waiting,” said Yukari, sitting down beside her. She was quiet for a long moment. “I’m getting married soon.” She said it as if she was required to do disagreeable but necessary, which to Yukari it was.
To anyone else, Yamada would have expressed warm wishes. But to Yukari? “Should I congratulate you?”
“Well, that would be the traditional thing to do,” said Yukari. “Not that you have ever struck me as particularly traditional.”
Yamada gave a small laugh. “That’s about right,” she said. “I can see one advantage of you getting married though. Your sister.”
“That is true,” admitted Yukari. “She’s not the only one of my family to be at me for to replenish the clan’s numbers. But she is the loudest and the most annoying.” Yukari gave a frustrated sigh. “She’s planning the wedding, which I hoped wold keep her at bay. But it hasn’t, and she’s gone and invited half the city every other day to introduce me to them.”
“You realise, she will be on to you next to have a child,” Yamada said.
“Ha! She can shout all she wants,” said Yukari tightly. “Isawa Tatsumi and I have an understanding. There’s other ways to replenish the clan. This war has made a lot of orphans. Many of them need homes and families.”
“Yes,” said Yamada thoughtfully. “Yes, they will.”
A servant approached them and bowed low.
“Utaku-sama,” said the servant. “Kakita Kyoumi-sama wishes me to tell you that she is leaving now, but you are in no way obligated to go with her.”
“Please tell her I will come shortly,” said Yamada. The servant ran off. Yamada turned to Yukari. “Please, come and visit us. It’s far quieter in Kyoumi’s house and I am alone most mornings.”
“I think I will take you up on that,” said Yukari. “After all, there aren’t that many people in this city who actually say what they mean.”
Kyoumi was not inclined to talk on the way back. She walked quickly, her face was set in concentration. When they arrived back at her house, Kyoumi quickly excused herself and retired to her bedroom for the rest of the afternoon, only emerging for the evening meal.
It was late when she came out, wearing a casual cotton yukata patterned with coloured fans. She looked rather pale.
“Should we send for Kokoro?” Yamada asked. She knew what was going on even if Kyoumi wouldn’t talk about it. “She could have something that helps with…”
“No thank you, Yamada, I’ll be fine,” said Kyoumi quickly. She took a tiny sip of tea, a small mouthful of plain rice, then ran back into her bedroom.
Yamada could hear her from the table, it was then no surprise when the servant girl Izumi came out, saying her mistress hoped Yamada would excuse her for the rest of the evening.
Yamada finished her meal alone, pregnancy had not hampered her appetite. But what was ailing Kyoumi was common. Yamada hoped that Kyoumi would at least be sensible about it, but she doubted it.
It didn’t stop there. Over the next few days, Yamada noticed Kyoumi looked increasingly pale and fatigued and would frequently excuse herself. She also ate very little. And she refused to talk about it, saying that it was nothing and her duty came first.
Yamada bit back the words of reproach she wanted to say to her. She admired Kyoumi’s dedication, but what good did she do if she was like this? It must be an embarrassment having to excuse herself while in the Imperial Palace. And from what Yamada knew of Hida Kozan, he wouldn’t be very sympathetic.
Finally, when there came a morning when Kyoumi could hardly rise from her bed without fainting. Yamada took charge. She told Kyoumi to stay in bed, sent word to Hida Kozan that Kyoumi needed to be excused for a few days due to illness. And she sent for the midwife.
Kokoro spent a lot of time with Kyoumi. When she was done, Kokoro came out to speak to Yamada.
“You did well to send for me, Utaku-sama,” said Kokoro, her eyes to the ground and her tone deferential, as it always was when she was outside the privacy of Yamada’s room. “This should pass, and I have given her a tea that should help.”
“Thank you for coming, Kokoro-san,” said Yamada warmly.
“No need, Utaku-sama,” said the midwife, bowing solemnly. “It is my duty to all women, no matter their station or rank. Do not hesitate to call for me if you need me.”
When Kokoro left, Yamada went into see Kyoumi. Knocking first then sliding open the door when Kyoumi bid her come in. She looked pale, lying in bed. She tried to prop herself up to a sitting position when Yamada came in.
“Don’t tire yourself out,” said Yamada, she sat down on the tatami mat next to Kyoumi’s bed. “You need to rest, and you will.”
“But I have…duties to perform,” she said, sounding a little exasperated.
“I know, but making yourself ill doing them won’t help you, your baby, or Kozan,” said Yamada patiently. “Do you think the Utaku would send a shiotome in your state into battle? She would be a danger to herself and a hindrance on everyone else.”
“That’s different,” Kyoumi argued.
“Not very,” said Yamada. “Besides, I don’t think Kousuda would forgive me if he knew I let you get you into this state.”
Kyoumi closed her yes, laying back on the futon. “Fine, you win for now, Yamada.”
“it will pass soon,” said Yamada hopefully. “But until then…”
“Yes,” said Kyoumi, meekly like a young girl. “I’ll be good.” She added, a little mischief on her voice.
The tea did help to remedy some of the sickness, but not the fatigue. In a few days, Kyoumi was able to resume her duties but she had to cut her days short and return from the Forbidden City earlier. Often bringing some of her work back with her.
Their outings together around the city were less frequent, so Yamada sometimes went out by herself. Seppun Hill, where the kami fell to earth, was a place she went to often as it was very near Kyoumi’s house. Another place she went now and again was to watch the Last Legion—now the Emerald Legion—train on the outskirts of the city. But as the summer went on she found the distance hard and exhausting, even if she rode Yoru there. The stallion seemed to understand though, as patient as ever and he even seemed to know what was going on as he nuzzled Yamada’s growing belly a few times.
There were also more Unicorn arriving in the city, establishing themselves in the new houses or setting up camp wherever they could. Utaku Shironoya, who had been in Otosan Uchi for some time, showed her around what had been arranged for the civilians that were arriving. This included the children of those fighting to take back the Unicorn lands. They were looked after in large groups of around the same age, mostly Utaku men and a few older women.
“We of course would be happy to take care of your child, should you return to active duty Yamada-sama,” Shironoya said, with a smile and a bow.
As the summer went on, soon it was time for Yamada to accompany Kyoumi to the Temple of Benten to receive her pregnancy obi. Kokoro’s visits become more frequent, seeing each of them separately on the same day.
They had visitors from time to time. Yukari of course, Tomiko a few times as well as a few of Kyoumi’s friends and some of the Unicorn living in Otosan Uchi that Yamada had met.
They also attended Yukari’s wedding, the most reluctant people attending being the bride and groom. Yukari’s sister Momoko was in her element though, presiding over the proceedings as if she were the one who had been married.
At some point in the evening, Yamada managed to find a seat and was relieved to be off her feet. Then she realised she was sitting next to Asako Tomiko whom she had not seen for a few days.
Yamada tried to engage her in conversation, but Tomiko seemed distant. She wasn’t disinterested, it was almost as if something had upset her. But before Yamada could say anything else to her, Tomiko walked away.
Yamada stared after her in shock. Had she done something wrong?
“It is understandable, given what has happened,” Yamada overheard a masked Scorpion courtier say to her Spider companion. “With what happened to her brothers, it’s showed up at all.”
“So brutal,” remarked the Spider. “All those Isawa, and with the Phoenix fighting amongst themselves, there’s no checking that one who calls himself the Obsidian Hand.”
They walked off, leaving Yamada stunned by what she had overheard. This had to be Shiba Michio’s work. What exactly had he done to Tomiko’s brothers? How many Isawa had been killed?
But try as she might, Yamada couldn’t find Tomiko.
It was the next afternoon when Yamada finally managed to ask Kyoumi about what she had heard the previous night. Kyoumi listened patiently to Yamada, nodding at intervals.
“Yes, that was Shiba Michio,” said Kyoumi, her voice was serious, her voice grave. “From what I have heard he has gathered a few followers, they call themselves the Black Hand.” She shook her head. “It’s…awful what he is doing, what they are doing. Their tongues are cut out, their hands are cut off and nailed to a board. Then they are left…to die.”
Yamada winced, that was horrible. “But, if they’re the ones rebelling…”
Kyoumi shook her head decidedly. “There are better ways to deal with such things.” And that was all she would say about it.
But later, when Yamada was alone in her room she had more time to reflect on it. What she now knew about the task ahead of her. What influence could she have over Michio? He was being guided by heaven, by Lord Moon himself. Would she be able to stop things like this?
They could have deserved it, Yamada told herself, and there are more, others who deserve judgement.
She shivered, pulling the blankets close around her. She could feel her baby shift a little inside her, there was not as much movement now. This worried her sometimes, by Kokoro said it was normal as the baby grew and ran out of space.
Soon he would be born. Soon she would leave this place and join Michio. Soon.
Chapter 2
Kousuda left the next day, and not with a little hesitation. He said he couldn’t be sure how long he would be gone, but he would definitely back by winter in time for the Imperial Court.
“And to see the little one,” he promised.
His absence was felt not just by his wife Kyoumi but also by Yamada. Kyoumi’s ambivalence was harder to avoid. Towards her new role with the Voice of the Emperor, her role as hostess, and even probably Yamada’s pregnancy. It’s like they walked in circles, like an unbroken horse shy of the one who would one day trust them.
And it was more than a little frustrating.
So, rather than mirror Kyoumi’s intricate dance, Yamada tried to keep herself occupied. While she didn’t have any official duties for the Unicorn Clan while she stayed in the city, she did want to keep informed on what was happening. Particularly with the decisions she had been involved in making.
There was also a little sadness, because she wasn’t part of these plans, only observing. And that at a distance. Six months ago when she had arrived at Shiro Mirumoto, she had always assumed she would be leaving the mountain to ride to take back the Unicorn lands with the clan. To return home, just as they all had wanted. Not sitting in a house in the middle of a city, newly widowed and six months with child.
There were letters she wanted to write too. Particularly to Nakura’s family, trapped behind Onyx lines in the south. To introduce herself, but also explain what had happened and the reason for her decisions about her and Nakura’s child.
She gave a sad smile, trying to attempt the letter for the third time in as many days. She had wanted to meet them. His parents, his brother and sister. They had made plans, dreams spoken of in the small, brief world they had shared together.
Perhaps, Yamada thought, our child will know them someday…
The door opened and she could hear Kyoumi arrive home. She put down her brush and packed away her writing things. The letter could wait another day, and perhaps when she could be sure it would get to them.
They had fallen into a routine in the last few days since Yamada had been staying. Usually Kyoumi was in the Forbidden City in the mornings with the Voice. In this time, Yamada would go over her correspondence, read or sit in the garden. After Kyoumi returned, they would have the midday meal and then Kyoumi would show Yamada some of the city. They would return for the evening meal, and then Kyoumi would work late into the evening.
That afternoon, at Yamada’s suggestion, they went to the Temple to the Seven Fortunes. It was but a short walk from Kyoumi’s house on the far side of the Chisei District.
Rather than one temple, it was a series of large shrines to each of the fortunes. Like much of Otosan Uchi, they showed signs of recent repair. So had the school in the centre of the temples which Kyoumi said they were trying to open as soon as possible for the children of the district.
There were quite a number at the shrines, talking to the monks, nuns and shugenja who tended them. But the most people by far were around the Shrine to Benten. Most of them women. For one of Benten’s vassals was Hujojuko, the Fortune of Fertility.
Yamada and Kyoumi joined the queue for the shrine. It was rather long but moved quickly. As they neared the entrance to the shrine, Yamada could see inside. A shugenja seemed to be saying prayers to the expectant mother while a nun of
Hujojuko handed them what looked to be a strip of cloth.
They were almost inside when Yamada caught the eye of one of the women coming out. She clearly did not want to be there or be seen there. But the surprise of seeing her at all made Yamada blurt out her name.
“Yukari!”
Yukari’s head whipped around at the sound of her name. But she first looked behind her, back inside the shrine, then at Yamada.
“Yamada, Kyoumi,” said Yukari, nodding to them in greeting.
“It’s a…surprise to see you, here,” said Yamada, a little awkwardly.
“Yes,” said Yukari shortly. “For me as well.” She looked over her shoulder again.
“You must come and visit,” said Kyoumi warmly. “Tell us about your trip to Zogeku.”
“Yes, of course,” said Yukari. She sounded genuine, but clearly not inclined to chat. “I’ll have a note sent ahead, perhaps tomorrow…”
“Yu-ka-riii!” A high, sing-song voice pierced the air. All eyes turned towards its owner, a tall woman wearing the black and white of the Spider Clan. All eyes except Yukari’s who hid hers in clear irritation.
The woman made way over; she had an almost regal bearing that was not hindered by the swelling of her belly. And despite the difference of a few years in age, there was clearly a superficial similarity between the two women.
“Imoto-san, you escape me again!” she scolded. “There are people you need to meet!” She turned to regard Yamada and Kyoumi. “And aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”
Yukari looked as if she would rather be anywhere else doing anything else, but she compiled.
“Momoko-chan, this is Kakita Kyoumi and Utaku Yamada; we met at court at Shiro Mirumoto last winter,” she said, sullenly as if she were reciting lines. “Kyoumi-san, Yamada-san, this is my older sister Daigotsu Momoka.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Daigotsu Momoko-san,” said Kyoumi sweetly. "You must be very proud of your sister; she has managed to help so many people with her skills in diplomacy.”
“Proud, perhaps,” said Momoko. “Surprised, yes. She knows full well what will make the family proud.”
Yamada noticed that Yukari didn’t speak, but she clearly wanted to. Fortunately, they were almost inside the shrine just then.
“Will you excuse us?” said Yamada. “It is our turn.”
“Of course,” said Momoko with a winning smile. “We will wait for you.”
Yamada and Kyoumi headed inside, bowing to the shugenja and monk. The Benten shugenja said the requisite prayers for a safe birth and delivery. The nun pressed the strip of cloth into Yamada’s hands. An obi, red in colour and wider than usual.
“Remember to wear it to keep your baby warm,” said the nun, saying blessings before they thanked them walked away.
When they came back to where Momoko and Yukari were, the tension between the two sisters had clearly increased. Yukari looking down rather sullenly, Momoko with her wide false smile.
“I wish many blessings on you for you and your child, Utaku-san,” she said. “Bringing children into the world is one of the best ways we can serve as samurai.”
“Thank you, Daigotsu-san,” said Yamada. She thought she heard a derisive snort from Yukari.
“Tell me, is the midwife attending you any good?” Momoko asked. “Such things are vital, and I ask as the sanba that has attended all of our family is highly skilled as well as knowledgeable.”
Yamada was caught a little off guard by this. “Uh…I don’t think so…”
“Splendid!” said Momoko. “I shall make sure that she calls on you this very evening!”
“Thank you,” said Yamada, feeling a little awkward.
Yukari stood sullenly behind her sister, not wanting to say anything and clearly wanting to be on her way.
“I would like to stay, Daigotsu-san, but I think the walk and the heat of the sun are a little trying,” said Yamada.
“May we call upon you tomorrow?” asked Kyoumi.
“Of course, of course!” gushed Momoko. “I remember my first, I bid you farewell then.”
“Do we have to go and see her?” Yamada asked as they walked away.
Kyoumi nodded. “At least once, perhaps Yukari would like someone else to talk to.”
“Hopefully, we can always laugh about it later,” said Yamada.
The midwife arrived that evening as promised. She was a short woman, solidly built and probably of mid to late forties. She wore a simple brown cotton kimono with her greying black hair pulled back in a no-nonsense bun. Her name was Kokoro, but she insisted Yamada call her Oba, Auntie.
Accompanying her was her young apprentice. A girl hardly past fifteen called Nibui. She carried the midwife’s tools in a large bag and did not speak much. But this was hardly noticeable was Kokoro talked far too much.
Yamada was not quite sure what to make of her at first. By her caste, a midwife was an eta, these people—or rather non-people—dealt with necessary but undesirable things. But like a geisha, also an eta, they seemed to inhabit a peculiar place of trust when they were plying their trade. A geisha had her okiya; a midwife the birthing room.
Much later, when it was drawing nearer to Yamada’s time and she felt comfortable talking more freely to Kokoro, she shared her thoughts of this. But the midwife only smiled.
“You are not the first to ask that my dear,” she said. “Every mother is a mother and every baby is a baby, and every baby is born the same way from the Imperial Palace down to the huts in the eta village.”
But that day, there was a little bit more formality. At least at first. They went to Yamada’s room and Nibui was sent to make tea. While she served it, Kokoro asked Yamada some questions. Firstly, about Yamada’s general health and then about her monthly courses and when they had stopped. She then she calculated from a metal circular calendar Nibui removed from her bag.
“If we are right about this, my dear, this puts the little one’s arrival in the month of the Rooster, early autumn,” she said, more to herself than to Yamada. Nibui noted all of this down in a little book. “That is not much time, since this month, the month of the Goat, is almost over.” She turned to Yamada, shaking her finger at her in a mock scolding way. “You should have come to see me earlier, young woman!”
Yamada laughed, Kokoro was starting to grow on her.
“Now, I need to ask about your mother, my dear,” said Kokoro. “Did she have children other than you?”
“Yes…oba,” said Yamada. “Four of us altogether. All girls, I was the youngest.”
“And am I right in guessing your mother is not in the city?” Kokoro asked gently.
“No,” said Yamada quietly. “She died when I was a child, along with the rest of my family.”
“You poor dear,” said Kokoro gently. “You do need women around you for the birth, remember. Ones you can trust.”
“I think I can manage that,” said Yamada. Kyoumi of course would be there, but she secretly wondered if the Crane girl was up to such a task.
“Now come,” said the midwife, patting the futon after Nibui had unrolled it. “Let us see how the little one is doing.”
With Nibui’s help, Yamada removed her obi and kimono until she was down to her undergarments. Nibui then helped her lie down on her back. Kokoro trained hands then ran over Yamada’s belly, feeling through to where the growing baby was inside. She applied a little pressure, and Yamada felt the baby move.
“A little fighter, this one,” said Kokoro with a throaty laugh. “Yes, there is the head, give me your hand, dear.” Kokoro guided Yamada’s had to just underneath her ribcage. She felt something solid there, round, moving beneath her hand. “Still standing up the little one is, but there’s time and room for him to move.”
Yamada felt something hard press outward against the walls of her belly. A hand? A foot? It was hard to tell.
“Let’s leave the little one now,” said Kokoro, letting Yamada sit up and put her kimono back on. “You are carrying fairly low, which can mean a boy. “She gave Yamada a pointed look. “From what I have heard, your family, the Utaku, have rather firm opinions about that.”
“We do,” said Yamada, sipping her tea. “But…my husband died last winter. It’s…all I have left of him.”
“I know, dear,” said Kokoro, patting Yamada’s hand gently. “Babies come whenever they want to, even in the middle of a war. We make the best of things.”
Kokoro gave Yamada careful instructions, saying she was to have warm foods and to eat fish bones as it would help bring on her milk. She also left a packet of tea, which would help with this as well as other common pregnancy ailments.
Yamada and Kyoumi saw the two of them off. But she was so inclined to talk was Kokoro that she dallied in leaving. It was only when Nibui pointed out the lateness of the hour—the only time she had spoken that evening—that Kokoro realized they should be on their way.
“I shall see you in two weeks,” said Kokoro to Yamada. Then, she turned to Kyoumi. “I expect you will be needing my services soon, Kakita-sama.”
And with that, she left.
“Kyoumi?” Yamada looked at her curiously as they went inside. “What did she mean by that?”
Kyoumi looked a little embarrassed. “Well…”
“You mean, you’re…”
Kyoumi nodded.
For a moment, Yamada forgot all propriety and gave Kyoumi a warm hug.
“That’s wonderful,” Yamada said, then remembering herself and stepping back quickly. “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy for you.”
“It’s fine, I understand,” said Kyoumi.
“How long have you known?” Yamada asked. “Does Kousuda know?”
“Yes, we have known for a little while now,” she said. “And thank you for your good wishes.”
Yamada smiled, the first real smile Kyoumi had seen since she had arrived. The first one that was not tinged with sadness. And then she started to giggle like a girl.
“I’m sorry,” she said, putting her hand up to her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter. “But both of us…at the same time.”
“I know,” said Kyoumi, joining in the laughter.
On their walk to Yukari’s sister’s house, Yamada saw more of the city. It was still surprising how much recovery and rebuilding had gone on. For so long the old capital had been abandoned, resettlement was only really possible once the taint was removed from the city for good.
It’s like new growth, thought Yamada, new life after a great storm.
But the new growth was very different from the old. Gone was the quaint rusticness of the old Rokugani style, in its place were new innovations and even foreign influences. How much there was varied from district to district, there were still more traditional structures such as in the Chisei District where Kyoumi lived. But in the Sereko District where a number of prominent kuge of the Spider Clan had their homes, there was a definite emphasis on the new rather than old. And there was a definite Zogeki influence, at least that was Yamada’s best guess.
The Spider Embassy was a prime example. They passed by it so Yamada was able to see it fully. The painted wood in the black, white and scarlet of the Spider Clan. The intricately carved columns inscribed with the mons of the different families. The intricately sculptured gardens hidden partially behind screens.
There was also a rather small, modest house at the rear of the embassy. So unremarkable that Yamada would have overlooked it had Kyoumi not pointed it out. It was the official residence of Susumu Shibatsu. Champion of the Spider Clan but also brother to the Emperor. It was certainly small and unassuming, particularly since the walls to the Forbidden City where the Imperial Palace was located were only a stone’s throw away.
Literally in their shadow, Yamada thought as they passed, perhaps that says more about him than anything else would.
Momoko’s house was one of several that bordered on a large and elaborate garden. A servant received them at the door and led them through to the gardens where a large group of people had gathered. Sitting, standing, talking in groups. Dressed impeccably in court clothes of a number of different colours. Perfect make up. Decorated fans and parasols.
The sort of people that Yamada usually went out of her way to avoid.
And in the midst of it all was Momoko. At the centre of all affairs like a queen bee in charge of a hive. She introduced Kyoumi and Yamada to the various people, Kyoumi managing to find the right words with ease and Yamada with a little difficulty.
The names and faces blurred a little, but there was one who stood out to Yamada. A young woman wearing a kimono of a soft apricot colour patterned with white butterflies. Momoko introduced her as Asako Tomiko. She was a little younger than Yamada, and there was something resembling actual sincerity and candour in her voice and manner. This contrasted starkly against the false courtly graces of the others.
She was also very interested in how Yamada had recently been to Phoenix lands.
“It has been very hard to get any news of what is happening,” she said to Yamada. “I have not heard from my brothers in several months.”
“Can you tell me their names?” Yamada asked. “I did speak with a number of Phoenix while I was there, from different families.”
“Their names are Isawa Tenji and Isawa Higoshi,” she said, looking at Yamada closely.
“I am sorry, but I can’t help you,” said Yamada. “I definitely did not meet anyone of that name, but there were a number of Isawa I saw. So that does not mean I did not see them.”
“No need to apologise, Utaku-san,” said Tomiko. “I have been away from home for a number of years, living here. And it can be…hard to not know what is going on.”
“I know exactly what you mean, Asako-san,” said Yamada. “My clan is fighting to take back our lands, it is hard to hear news of what is going on. And I thought I would be there, part of it.”
“I am sure you are doing your duty well here, Utaku-san,” said Tomiko, a fleeting glance at Yamada’s belly.
Yamada smiled, perhaps there were good things about being here after all.
Later on, Yamada walked the gardens, seeking peace from the constant chatter of the courtiers. The sun was hot and she was glade for the shade of the white parasol Kyoumi had loaned her.
Like the city itself, the gardens here were a mixture of old and new. With the traditional pine, maples and bamboo, Yamada spotted frangipanis, roses and white vanilla orchids.
She crossed a small footbridge that spanned a stream and walked into a training yard. A simple paved courtyard with weapon racks on either side filled with practice weapons for anyone who wished to use one.
And it was there that Yamada saw Yukari, dressed in her court furisode decorated with spiders, practicing katas. Yamada approached, watching Yukari and admiring her form. Uncompromising in its strength and speed, no hesitations. Unlike anywhere else, it was where Yamada could see Yukari’s true self. The blade could not lie.
Then she stopped, she acknowledged Yamada with a nod. “You couldn’t stand it either?” she asked with a wry smile.
Yamada smiled back. “I was there for as long as I could,” she said. “But I have to tell you, I have an easy reason to escape.” She touched her pregnant belly.
Yukari gave an amused snort. “When you put it like that, it almost sounds tempting,” she said. “Almost.” She sheathed her sword. “I know we couldn’t talk properly yesterday. Momoko is…” She shook her head. “How have you been? Well, aside from…” She glanced at Yamada’s belly.
“Surviving, I guess,” Yamada said, taking a seat on a bench. “It’s like something else has taken control of my life and it hasn’t happened yet. So, here I am waiting until it does. Waiting, which is something I’m not very good at.”
“You’re not the only one who is waiting,” said Yukari, sitting down beside her. She was quiet for a long moment. “I’m getting married soon.” She said it as if she was required to do disagreeable but necessary, which to Yukari it was.
To anyone else, Yamada would have expressed warm wishes. But to Yukari? “Should I congratulate you?”
“Well, that would be the traditional thing to do,” said Yukari. “Not that you have ever struck me as particularly traditional.”
Yamada gave a small laugh. “That’s about right,” she said. “I can see one advantage of you getting married though. Your sister.”
“That is true,” admitted Yukari. “She’s not the only one of my family to be at me for to replenish the clan’s numbers. But she is the loudest and the most annoying.” Yukari gave a frustrated sigh. “She’s planning the wedding, which I hoped wold keep her at bay. But it hasn’t, and she’s gone and invited half the city every other day to introduce me to them.”
“You realise, she will be on to you next to have a child,” Yamada said.
“Ha! She can shout all she wants,” said Yukari tightly. “Isawa Tatsumi and I have an understanding. There’s other ways to replenish the clan. This war has made a lot of orphans. Many of them need homes and families.”
“Yes,” said Yamada thoughtfully. “Yes, they will.”
A servant approached them and bowed low.
“Utaku-sama,” said the servant. “Kakita Kyoumi-sama wishes me to tell you that she is leaving now, but you are in no way obligated to go with her.”
“Please tell her I will come shortly,” said Yamada. The servant ran off. Yamada turned to Yukari. “Please, come and visit us. It’s far quieter in Kyoumi’s house and I am alone most mornings.”
“I think I will take you up on that,” said Yukari. “After all, there aren’t that many people in this city who actually say what they mean.”
Kyoumi was not inclined to talk on the way back. She walked quickly, her face was set in concentration. When they arrived back at her house, Kyoumi quickly excused herself and retired to her bedroom for the rest of the afternoon, only emerging for the evening meal.
It was late when she came out, wearing a casual cotton yukata patterned with coloured fans. She looked rather pale.
“Should we send for Kokoro?” Yamada asked. She knew what was going on even if Kyoumi wouldn’t talk about it. “She could have something that helps with…”
“No thank you, Yamada, I’ll be fine,” said Kyoumi quickly. She took a tiny sip of tea, a small mouthful of plain rice, then ran back into her bedroom.
Yamada could hear her from the table, it was then no surprise when the servant girl Izumi came out, saying her mistress hoped Yamada would excuse her for the rest of the evening.
Yamada finished her meal alone, pregnancy had not hampered her appetite. But what was ailing Kyoumi was common. Yamada hoped that Kyoumi would at least be sensible about it, but she doubted it.
It didn’t stop there. Over the next few days, Yamada noticed Kyoumi looked increasingly pale and fatigued and would frequently excuse herself. She also ate very little. And she refused to talk about it, saying that it was nothing and her duty came first.
Yamada bit back the words of reproach she wanted to say to her. She admired Kyoumi’s dedication, but what good did she do if she was like this? It must be an embarrassment having to excuse herself while in the Imperial Palace. And from what Yamada knew of Hida Kozan, he wouldn’t be very sympathetic.
Finally, when there came a morning when Kyoumi could hardly rise from her bed without fainting. Yamada took charge. She told Kyoumi to stay in bed, sent word to Hida Kozan that Kyoumi needed to be excused for a few days due to illness. And she sent for the midwife.
Kokoro spent a lot of time with Kyoumi. When she was done, Kokoro came out to speak to Yamada.
“You did well to send for me, Utaku-sama,” said Kokoro, her eyes to the ground and her tone deferential, as it always was when she was outside the privacy of Yamada’s room. “This should pass, and I have given her a tea that should help.”
“Thank you for coming, Kokoro-san,” said Yamada warmly.
“No need, Utaku-sama,” said the midwife, bowing solemnly. “It is my duty to all women, no matter their station or rank. Do not hesitate to call for me if you need me.”
When Kokoro left, Yamada went into see Kyoumi. Knocking first then sliding open the door when Kyoumi bid her come in. She looked pale, lying in bed. She tried to prop herself up to a sitting position when Yamada came in.
“Don’t tire yourself out,” said Yamada, she sat down on the tatami mat next to Kyoumi’s bed. “You need to rest, and you will.”
“But I have…duties to perform,” she said, sounding a little exasperated.
“I know, but making yourself ill doing them won’t help you, your baby, or Kozan,” said Yamada patiently. “Do you think the Utaku would send a shiotome in your state into battle? She would be a danger to herself and a hindrance on everyone else.”
“That’s different,” Kyoumi argued.
“Not very,” said Yamada. “Besides, I don’t think Kousuda would forgive me if he knew I let you get you into this state.”
Kyoumi closed her yes, laying back on the futon. “Fine, you win for now, Yamada.”
“it will pass soon,” said Yamada hopefully. “But until then…”
“Yes,” said Kyoumi, meekly like a young girl. “I’ll be good.” She added, a little mischief on her voice.
The tea did help to remedy some of the sickness, but not the fatigue. In a few days, Kyoumi was able to resume her duties but she had to cut her days short and return from the Forbidden City earlier. Often bringing some of her work back with her.
Their outings together around the city were less frequent, so Yamada sometimes went out by herself. Seppun Hill, where the kami fell to earth, was a place she went to often as it was very near Kyoumi’s house. Another place she went now and again was to watch the Last Legion—now the Emerald Legion—train on the outskirts of the city. But as the summer went on she found the distance hard and exhausting, even if she rode Yoru there. The stallion seemed to understand though, as patient as ever and he even seemed to know what was going on as he nuzzled Yamada’s growing belly a few times.
There were also more Unicorn arriving in the city, establishing themselves in the new houses or setting up camp wherever they could. Utaku Shironoya, who had been in Otosan Uchi for some time, showed her around what had been arranged for the civilians that were arriving. This included the children of those fighting to take back the Unicorn lands. They were looked after in large groups of around the same age, mostly Utaku men and a few older women.
“We of course would be happy to take care of your child, should you return to active duty Yamada-sama,” Shironoya said, with a smile and a bow.
As the summer went on, soon it was time for Yamada to accompany Kyoumi to the Temple of Benten to receive her pregnancy obi. Kokoro’s visits become more frequent, seeing each of them separately on the same day.
They had visitors from time to time. Yukari of course, Tomiko a few times as well as a few of Kyoumi’s friends and some of the Unicorn living in Otosan Uchi that Yamada had met.
They also attended Yukari’s wedding, the most reluctant people attending being the bride and groom. Yukari’s sister Momoko was in her element though, presiding over the proceedings as if she were the one who had been married.
At some point in the evening, Yamada managed to find a seat and was relieved to be off her feet. Then she realised she was sitting next to Asako Tomiko whom she had not seen for a few days.
Yamada tried to engage her in conversation, but Tomiko seemed distant. She wasn’t disinterested, it was almost as if something had upset her. But before Yamada could say anything else to her, Tomiko walked away.
Yamada stared after her in shock. Had she done something wrong?
“It is understandable, given what has happened,” Yamada overheard a masked Scorpion courtier say to her Spider companion. “With what happened to her brothers, it’s showed up at all.”
“So brutal,” remarked the Spider. “All those Isawa, and with the Phoenix fighting amongst themselves, there’s no checking that one who calls himself the Obsidian Hand.”
They walked off, leaving Yamada stunned by what she had overheard. This had to be Shiba Michio’s work. What exactly had he done to Tomiko’s brothers? How many Isawa had been killed?
But try as she might, Yamada couldn’t find Tomiko.
It was the next afternoon when Yamada finally managed to ask Kyoumi about what she had heard the previous night. Kyoumi listened patiently to Yamada, nodding at intervals.
“Yes, that was Shiba Michio,” said Kyoumi, her voice was serious, her voice grave. “From what I have heard he has gathered a few followers, they call themselves the Black Hand.” She shook her head. “It’s…awful what he is doing, what they are doing. Their tongues are cut out, their hands are cut off and nailed to a board. Then they are left…to die.”
Yamada winced, that was horrible. “But, if they’re the ones rebelling…”
Kyoumi shook her head decidedly. “There are better ways to deal with such things.” And that was all she would say about it.
But later, when Yamada was alone in her room she had more time to reflect on it. What she now knew about the task ahead of her. What influence could she have over Michio? He was being guided by heaven, by Lord Moon himself. Would she be able to stop things like this?
They could have deserved it, Yamada told herself, and there are more, others who deserve judgement.
She shivered, pulling the blankets close around her. She could feel her baby shift a little inside her, there was not as much movement now. This worried her sometimes, by Kokoro said it was normal as the baby grew and ran out of space.
Soon he would be born. Soon she would leave this place and join Michio. Soon.